Funeral Fiasco
by Red Witch
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if some Galaxy Rangers went to a funeral? And a few other friends of theirs went too? Wonder no more.


**The disclaimer saying that I don't own any Galaxy Rangers characters has been buried somewhere. Just another typical fun at a funeral fic by me, because my brain cells died a long time ago. **

**Funeral Fiasco**

"So who is this guy anyway and why are we at his funeral?" Shane grumbled as he, Doc and Zach walked into the funeral parlor in dress uniforms.

"Doctor Eli Ambrose was one of the founding members of Longshot as well as a highly respected scientist in the field of robotics," Zach told his friend.

"Apparently he was also a good friend of Ambassador Domani," Doc shrugged.

"Oh so **that's** why we're here," Shane grumbled.

"What do you mean by **that**, Ranger Gooseman?" Commander Walsh had walked behind them. Q-Ball and Buzzwang were also with him as well as Jessica and Zach Jr.

"Before you jump to any conclusions we are here as a favor to Commander Cain," Walsh grunted. "The Board of Leaders wanted some representatives of BETA here and he convinced them to pick us."

"Of course the fact that Ambassador Domani is also here doesn't hurt," Doc smiled. "Maybe Cain's trying some matchmaking?"

"No, he's trying to win some kind of poker championship off planet," Walsh grumbled. "He was supposed to come here to represent the military but shoved this off on us! So behave yourselves!"

"WAAAHHH! IT'S NOT FAIR! IT'S NOT FAIR!" Q-Ball sobbed rather vocally.

"Apparently Q-Ball is something of a fan," Doc blinked.

"Doctor Ambrose was the greatest scientific mind of his time! He's the reason I got into robotics!" Q-Ball sobbed.

"Oh so there **is** someone to blame for everything you've done," Shane smirked. "Now it makes sense."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Q-Ball bawled. "It's not fair! It's not fair! Why did he have to go so young?"

"Young?" Doc gave him a look. "He was ninety seven and he had a heart attack in a hot tub with his twenty five year old wife. Sounds like a **great** way to go to me!"

"Doc!" Zach indicated his children were present.

"Oh yeah right," Jessica rolled her eyes. "Like we didn't hear **this** on the news."

"Don't worry Q-Ball," Buzzwang said cheerfully. "I installed a sympathy chip that will simulate your emotions. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! WHY DID HE HAVE TO GO?"

"IT'S SO SAD!" Q-Ball hugged Buzzwang.

"Took the words right out of my mouth," Shane gave them a look. "How did Niko get out of this again?"

"Archaeological conference on Kirwin. So why are you two here?" Doc asked the kids.

"We wanted to pay our respects to great hero," Zach Jr. said.

"No, seriously **why **are you here?" Shane asked.

"Okay we just wanted to see a dead guy," Zach Jr. shrugged.

"And I needed something to write about for my current event paper," Jessica admitted.

"It's a good life lesson for the children," Zach said. The others gave him a look.

"He wanted an excuse to go to a Ricky Raccoon Pizza Place afterwards," Zach Jr. gave his father up. "Other than the one you guys blew up."

"We did **not** blow up the pizza place," Zach told his son. "Just a few walls. And wrecked a couple of machines."

"Ooh! Is this a party?" Bubblehead flew by. "Where are the nachos?"

"Why is he **here?**" Shane asked.

"I was about to ask **you **the same question!" Commander Walsh snapped.

"He must have stowed away again," Shane sighed.

"We'll get him Goose," Zach Jr. offered. "Come on Buzzwang."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Buzzwang bawled in sympathy with Q-Ball.

"On second thought we can handle this ourselves," Jessica blinked. They went after Bubblehead.

"Gooseman if your stupid bird causes **any** trouble here..." Walsh snarled.

"Why are you blaming me? I locked that bird up in his cage before I left! It's not my fault that he keeps getting out!" Shane protested.

"Yes it is!" Walsh snapped.

Ambassador Domani walked up to them in an elegant black dress. "Joseph I am so glad you came."

"Maggie I'm sorry for your loss," Walsh grasped her hands.

"You seem to be in the minority," Domani sighed. "Eli isn't even buried and that bimbo of a wife is already celebrating! What did he ever see in her?"

Doc looked at a buxom red haired woman in a short black dress. "I think I can figure that out, excuse me."

"I know I should stop that but something tells me the widow **deserves** this," Walsh snorted.

"I am too much of a lady to say what she deserves," Domani sniffed. "Oh Joseph Eli was such a good friend. And now he's gone."

"It's all right Maggie I'm here," Walsh put his arm around her. He glared at Zach and Shane. "Don't you two have somewhere else you should be?"

"Oh right…" Zach smirked. "Come on Goose, let's corral Doc before he does any damage."

"OH WHAT A TRAGEDY! WAAAAHHHH WAAAAAH!" Both Q-Ball and Buzzwang sobbed loudly.

"And we'd better take the sob sisters here with us to dry off," Shane grumbled as he dragged them away.

A short time later after depositing both Q-Ball and Buzzwang off somewhere, Shane and Zach found Doc consoling the widow. "You know, we all mourn your husband's loss but he's not really gone is he?" Doc sighed as he dramatically placed his hand over his heart. "He's still right here."

"Okay what show did he steal **that **from?" Zach blinked.

"We'd better steal him away before he causes a riot," Shane moved quickly and made his excuses as he dragged Doc over to them. "What are you doing? That's the widow for crying out loud!"

"Yes and I'm consoling her in her time of need," Doc grinned.

"Doc knock it off or we're not taking you to Ricky Raccoons!" Zach snapped.

"Can you get that in writing?" Doc quipped. He took off to the back of the room following the widow.

"You know I think I might write this paper from a different angle than I originally intended," Jessica thought aloud as she and her brother walked up to them. "And for a different class."

"Dad, we can't find Bubblehead anywhere," Zach Jr. whispered as the service began and they took their seats.

"Well he has to be around here **someplace**," Zach looked around. "Did you look outside?"

"We did but we can't find him," Jessica whispered. "I don't know where he could be."

Just then there was a knocking sound from inside the coffin. "Oh no…" Zach winced, realizing **exactly **where Bubblehead was.

"HEY LET ME OUT!" A familiar voice chirped from the casket. This scared everyone else at the funeral.

"KEEP HIM IN!" Shane shouted. "BURY THAT CASKET NOW! OR BETTER YET! BURN IT!"

This really shocked everyone at the funeral. Q-Ball screamed like a girl. A woman fainted. "Joseph…" Domani gritted her teeth.

"What? I'm with Gooseman, **bury it!"** Walsh said. "Quick! Send it out back and bury it!"

"Oh for crying…" Zach sighed. "**I'll** get it…" He opened the casket.

"It's alive!" Bubblehead shot his head out of the casket. "Whoo! Smells like dead guy in here!"

This distressed many of the service goers. "Hey guys what's wrong? You act like you're at a funeral or something," Bubblehead hopped out. He looked at the casket. "Oh, right…"

"Is that his watch on your neck?" Niko asked.

"What?" Bubblehead indicated the fancy watch on his neck. "It's not like the dead guy needs it. What's he got to tell time for?"

"Bubblehead give me the stupid watch," Shane got up to grab his bird.

"But the Commander said he wanted a watch like it," Bubblehead said innocently. "I'm just getting it for him."

"JOSEPH!" Domani glared at him.

"I told you," Walsh sighed. "You should have buried him in there when you had the chance!"

"Come back here bird!" Shane shouted. He and Zach started chasing Bubblehead all over the place.

"How can such a small bird be so slippery?" Zach grumbled.

"COMING THROUGH!" Bubblehead flew over the heads of several startled guests.

Walsh winced as the sound of things breaking and chairs being overturned echoed through the room as well as shrieks and screams of terror. "One of these days I am going to personally disassemble that bird!"

"IT"S SO NOT FAIR! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" Buzzwang sobbed on the shoulder of a distressed woman.

"And a few other things while I'm at it," Walsh grumbled.

"YOU JERK!"

POW!

"Now what happened?" Walsh yelled over the commotion. There was some kind of fight in the aisles but he couldn't see what was going on.

"I think Doc was hitting on the widow and she hit him back," Zach Jr. said.

"DON'T GO! DON'T GO!" Q-Ball had thrown himself onto the casket. Several pallbearers were trying to pull him off without any success. "CAN'T WE JUST FREEZE HIS BRAIN INSTEAD? THERE'S STILL TIME! I KNOW IT! LET ME AT HIS BRAIN! LET ME AT HIS BRAIN! JUST GET ME A PENKNIFE AND I CAN SAVE HIS BEAUTIFUL BRAIN!"

"As soon as we get back to BETA some people are going on a very long and very nasty trip to the most unpleasant planet I can think of!" Walsh growled.

"You are not exactly that innocent yourself mister!" Domani snapped. "Teaching that bird to steal a watch for you! How could you?"

"Now wait a minute…" Walsh tried to defend himself. "I didn't…"

"Who brought the horny Galaxy Ranger in the **first **place?" Domani snapped. "And the memory bird? And that **lunatic** on Eli's casket?"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"

"And the hormonal robot?" Domani winced as Buzzwang sobbed in someone's dress.

"BUBBLEHEAD GET AWAY FROM THOSE URNS!" Zach yelled. "GOOSE NO! DON'T THROW THAT! THAT'S…."

CRASH!

"Look at all the dust," Bubblehead quipped.

"That's not dust," Zach groaned. "Gooseman!"

"Oops," Shane gulped.

"JOSEPH HOW COULD YOU RUIN THIS DAY?" Domani stormed off.

"I wonder how many favors I have to do to cover **this** up?" Walsh groaned. "On the bright side I think it will be a long time before Cain asks us to go to a funeral again. Except for mine of course."

"I have to admit this funeral is a lot more fun than I thought it would be," Zach Jr. remarked. "More fun than Ricky Raccoon's."

"I can't wait to show my teacher **this** paper," Jessica took notes. "If this doesn't get me an A in my creative writing class, nothing will."


End file.
